Being described as head strong is to some people a compliment. In certain instances it can be useful, however, it is a far less effective way of operating and living than being heart strong.

The head strong individual is stubborn, pushy, demanding, driven, results focused, intense, combative, challenging and, consequently, stressed. The head strong person thinks they know best (and sometimes they do), they tend to have tunnel vision and be very focused on their desired outcome. They create a lot of resistance by virtue of the way they operate. Relationships tend to be a means to an end and are dispensed with if they become part of the problem. They live in the head and base their decisions primarily on the knowledge and information they have gathered and analysed. They do not let go and you are either with them or against them. They rely totally on their thinking and analytical skills, their judgements are based on partial information at best. Trust is something they are poor at.

In contrast the heart strong individual is resilient, patient, open, relaxed, determined, calm, process focused, collaborative, challenging and present. This is s genuinely strong person who is aware of their own presence and the potential it contains. They fill the moment with their presence. Consequently, they are acutely aware of their environment, the people they are with and the actions that need to be taken, if any. The relationships they inhabit are open, honest, respectful and built on mutual trust. They take responsibility for themselves only and encourage the same in others. Being heart strong means they can overcome life’s traumas, learn their lessons from painful episodes and genuinely let go of the past. They have no need for mind games or blame games. Their own self acceptance makes them impenetrable to others’ manipulation and attempts at control.

Is it possible to be both head strong and heart strong? Of course. In truth we do both and we tend to flip between the two in response to what we are experiencing in each moment. For example you may be very head strong about completing a work or learning task that has been getting the better of you for some time, you want to finish it and prove to yourself and/or others that you are able to do it. When you go home you may become more heart focused and be heart strong when talking honestly with a family member about some past grievance or issue that needs to be resolved between you both.

We can be strong in both head and heart, but too often we choose to stay head strong to get us through life’s challenges and even through the normal everyday stuff, not realising that we can choose to be a different way. By choosing to be heart strong we engage with and resolve life’s challenges in a more congruent and effortless manner. Stress is absent from this approach. Embracing life from our heart is the single most important and the most powerful choice we can make at any time, and it is one I believe we should take all the time.

Being heart strong means you instinctively know your own worth, and that of others. You realise you are bigger than any single situation and can cope with whatever life throws at you. You know pain and pleasure are just emotions or experiences and do not in any way define or limit you. You can sense the bigger picture without losing sight of the detail of what really matters. The quality of your actions, decisions and choices are far superior than anything you could produce from the old head strong perspective. The heart strong person engenders peace and engagement from others.

Anyone can be head strong, it is easy to be so and the price paid is very significant in terms of physical, mental and emotional stress.

Do not underestimate the power and impact of being heart strong, it can and has moved mountains – Mandela and Gandhi are just two obvious examples. We have all had moments in our lives when we have stepped into a heart strong space and felt untouchable. Simplify your life, step in and act from your real power, choose to be a heart strong individual always, and let the world fall into your embrace.